I love to own a Work for 2011 :)

the other day i walked into the jewellery store with Mum and got a pair of blings.. noti me.. and ordered a bag from coach.. no more shopping till 2011.

got a little pay increment some days ago.. shocked when xiao hei gave me the letter and i stared at it for 1minute? He said, "You are now an Assistant Manager." I replied, "Ok..." OH.. and I joined for only 4 mths? haa.. lucky me.

Pa, If you could see me now, you would be proud...

everyone is asking me if i'm ok.. suddenly i wonder if i'm really ok now.. i am so tired. mum is asking me to handle everything, rushing me to do this and do that. i am breaking down.

i'm taking time to be with my mum every single minute i have to spare. taking her out, taking her to work, taking her to eat, sleeping with her, while i sleep on the floor.

i am tired.

:(

no one understands / papa i missed you

No one understands how I am feeling now.

NO ONE.

Don't take away him from me please. There's so much more yet to be done.

I am trying my very best to make your little wishes come try one by one. Hang in there pa.

We finally went to the studio and took a family photo of 3 and of 4 with paul. Pa was in pain but he was very happy and did not grumble when the photographer requested for various position. I'm proud of you pa. The photos would be ready in 10 days. I hope they turn out great.

Happy Father's Day

I hope you liked this arrangment. I could see your smiles throughout the night.

I'm happy that you are happy, that's all I asked for now.

i'm tired

i deferred cfa till june 2011 as i really have no time and energy to study for it. the board kindly accepted my request as I shared the main reason with them.

if they are less stubborn and worrying, i would not have to rush around adminstering everything. if they are cooperative, i would not have to worry so much.

i am worried and stressful enough, stop giving trouble and adding more unnecessary matters for me to be taken care off.

no doubt the bosses are supportive in my unreasonable arrangement of taking so many leave in a month and soon I would have negative leaves before I complete my probation of 6 months. time and resources are wasted.

with uncaring member, I have to include more expenses and find help to manage each treatment session. there's no one to help me, no one who is able to help out. no one. no one!

no point having a figure head being there but no knowing what to do, what to ask, how to handle the suitation, how to take care of him when he requires some attention.

With such complications and a daily reporting to do to taiwan, on top of my new job, I am exhausted.

LEAVE ME ALONE of UNNECESSARY TROUBLE!

will a miracle happen?

i'm giving up. it's so difficult. pleasing him, seeing him in pain. seeing him stoning at home even after i got him lots of entertainment. feeling tired hourly. eating so little. so moody.

how long will this battle be?

if it is not ending, i will let him go without suffering. less pain, more happiness.

mum is getting old, seeing her doing chores the entire day - from cooking, to washing, to serving meals etc, i felt bad. if only i have enough money to employ a part time domestic worker. she would be happier. noticed her temper has improved. she becomes calmer and friendlier.

i'm tired. my wallet is tired too. i'm immune to just paying non-stop to keep them happy.

pain

i am very sad. seeing the nurses and doctors withdraw so much blood from dad for test. poking needles. i felt the pain. he must be in pain.

i dare not cry in front of them. i must look strong and be able to administer all these. also got to report to kor who is so worried in taiwan. updating him regularly via email.

it will be fine...