will a miracle happen?

i'm giving up. it's so difficult. pleasing him, seeing him in pain. seeing him stoning at home even after i got him lots of entertainment. feeling tired hourly. eating so little. so moody.

how long will this battle be?

if it is not ending, i will let him go without suffering. less pain, more happiness.

mum is getting old, seeing her doing chores the entire day - from cooking, to washing, to serving meals etc, i felt bad. if only i have enough money to employ a part time domestic worker. she would be happier. noticed her temper has improved. she becomes calmer and friendlier.

i'm tired. my wallet is tired too. i'm immune to just paying non-stop to keep them happy.