who am i?

15 oct 2008, wed
11.27pm

dear diary,

i am emo-ing now.. yes i am crying now.. my leg hurts now.. he feels totally different now.. i feel so distant.. he used to ask abt me, but when he asked abt me today, i replied, he did not continue the message, it was left hanging there.. what went wrong? he was unwell.. i was so worried, yet i feel helpless when i can't visit him cos he doesn't allow me to go to his house, i do not have any idea how is he, bcos i couldn't contact him and knew no one in his house. we have been together for 15 months.. yet i am an alien in his family.. i'm not his friend but i am his girlfriend yet i do not know many things about him.. how secure is this relationship? i am totally insecure..

i called up a few hospitals to check where he was that night, i called his best-est of friend to ask for number, i called his home and when his dad asked who am i, i said it's ok, good bye.

my leg hurts, my head spinning, running high fever, yet i am so worried about him but i couldn't contact him, couldn't visit him, couldn't say anything, all i did was to wait... and when i finally got him, my heart broke..

dear diary, who am i? i am lost... stop crying, i tell myself and do my work, but tears couldn't stop flowing for the past 3 days..

i wanted to rush to get tonics for him today, so that i could deliver it to him tml.. but my leg hurts while i went to the supermarket to get some food, i knew i need to visit the doc again and daddy was too tired after work and couldn't send me to get the tonics..

when i fell, everyone laughed at me, who understand the pain and suffering i went thru... the clinic is so far, yet i had to beg my dad to send me there, saying all the nasty things.. it was so pain when the sin seh rub my leg, crack it, bend it, apply this and that and poked needle.. even he laughed at me.. it hurts.. i am already trying so hard to walk carefully when i'm out on the street so that i do not fall down again.. when the sin seh asked if i wanna poked needle so that i can recover better, i still yes because I WISH TO GET WELL TOO!.. and i endured the pain of the needle with the electricity going thru the injured area for at least 15 minutes...

tml.. i'm going to the sin seh again, this time i am going all by myself.. i can do it, i don't see why the once do-it-all-by-herself-sabby is gone, i shall return and be the same girl again..

dear diary, i am sobbing as i typed this..i promised that i will not cry again tml..


sab...

dear diary,

I feel like an invisible girl. Wanting to care for someone I love, yet I am unable to do it, watching helplessly as he suffers.. I am starting to feel that we are soo distant.. all i wanted was to take care of you, yet I am unable to do it...

love,
useless sab

BOO! sun night was terrible, both paul and i tucked in early around 10pm (IN OUR OWN HOME) but i woke up at 1am feeling uncomfortable.. and headed to the toilet and i vomitted! not once but thrice! then returned to my bed and try to slp but i couldn't. felt very uncomfortable so i was tossing and turning around for the next 1+ hours at around 2am+ "F is for friends ..." my phone rang (thats my ring tone from spongebob).. paul called.. he was unwell too.. he vomitted too.. omg.. then he hang up. i tossed and turned in my bed till 7am+. i think i managed to close my eyes here and there and fall aslp for a couple of minutes before i woke up in between...

mummy woke up preparing to go to work, so i went to her and told her i am terrible ill. told her i vomitted and she took my temperature... OMG!! I'm running (high) fever.. 38.1 no wonder the terrible headache + giddiness. She made milo + a slice of bread, i ate half the bread and drank half cup of milo , popped two panadol and went to bed.. msged paul to check on him and went back to bed... managed to rest till 11+, woke up, msged paul again to check on him and checked my temperature, 37.8 zzz not any better, i finished my half slice of bread and popped another 2 panadol and went to rest... but i felt very uncomfortable near my chest area, mummy said there's wind.. the feeling of vomitting but i did not vomit...

msged paul as he was half dead too if not worst than me, he went to the clinic. i am very worried for him, if only i was alright i would have gone to the doc with him. :( he went back to rest while i continue to slp till 3+ when my parents came home. my temperature remained high and pa asked me to drink some chinese powder.. ok so i drank the powder around 4+.. went to slp again..

woke up at 6+, lied in the living room sofa to try and watch tv.. till 7+, checked on paul again, he is going to the hospital.. :( i got really worried but glad that his bro was with him.. as for me, i continue to feel uncomfortable and checked my temperature again, AHHHHH 37.9!!! what in the world.. so mummy gave me stronger panadol.. around 10+ i texted him but he did not reply for a few hours. i got very very worried... but i do not have his bro's number.. called his house but i remembered paul said after 10+ don't call as his dad will be aslp.. ok.. so who else??? ROOM-MATE! so i texted him and asked he has got bro's number ... nv reply me... got worried.. maybe ignoring me?? maybe bz... i called paul BUT his phone was off.. texted room mate again.. no reply.. ok maybe he is busy... then ahhh finally paul replied me.. phew*... texted room mate that i got paul.. he replied after soo long.. asking me what happened.. explained briefly and told him i'm having fever too zzzz.... he must be thinking what is wrong with both of us...

the stronger panadol took it's effect and i fell aslp while waiting for paul's update.. he called around 12+ and i woke up.. he sounds better now and was heading home.. i guess everything is alright so i closed my eyes and slp..

no more fever for me, texted him to check on him.. no reply, maybe aslp. wanting to send him some porridge but i called his house and his dad is at home, ok i'm not so worried now and he is still aslp.. goody, sleep and rest well dear..

my leggie is better now, maybe i can skip the 3rd treatment to save some money..

i need to start to do my work.. 3 reports coming up...

i feel rather depressed.. i fell down the other day in my own room, the next day daddy sent me to the sin seh but he had to use his $20 coupon as his is a weekend car. but i paid for the medical fee of $30. today we went back for the 2nd treatment, it was freaking pain, he poked needles on my ankle and i was holding on the pillow so tightly. today daddy sent me there again, sat so no need to use coupon but we waited till 3pm before leaving the house. i paid S$28.00 for the medical fee today. i have to return for the 3rd time on tues, so that will be another $30 gone BUT bcos it will be a tuesday, i have to travel to the clinic myself if not daddy will have to use another S$20 coupon which i think is not worth it.. how i wish someone can drive me there and take me home. there is no direct transport to the clinic or i have to take a cab.. it will be freaking expensive to take a cab there.. hai..

so i expect to spend S$100 for the medical fee.. it's such an expensive fall.. my parents have retired and surviving on their savings + some part time assignment to maintain daily expenses.. the market is very bad now, and i would be graduating next april.. hope that i will be able to secure a job and feed them...

i need to treat my hair, wanted to do it recently BUT bcos i fell down and had to spend moola on the treatment, i guess i would have to postpone the treatment to after exam. but the treatment cream has been siting in the corner of my room for almost 6 months.. brand new $60... zzzz i feel ugly recently.. have this phobia that he doesn't want me anymore bcos i'm getting ugly.. more mask for me... HELP.

i'm beginning to hate myself... waste so much money...

Badminton @ safra tpy
[4 Oct 2008, Sat 7-9PM]

Paul is proud of his wu-di racket!

We dragged christopher to come down for the game cos we agreed that 2hr is damn long and we would be super drained if we played for 2hr.

paul is giving pointers to christopher (his bro)

wrong shoes = sprained ankle

shacked

No ventilation, bad hall

anyway, i got the muji drawers, brought one home by myself via bus and i almost died. it's sooo HEAVY! got my parents to bring home the other 2 for me hohoho

tada! classy isnt it?

BTW, I Sprained my leg AGAIN..

i did not tripped on the road,

i did not fell down the stairs,

it was in my OWN ROOM!!

ok stop laughing.

EVERYONE laughed at ME

my parents, paul, geraldine, grace zzz


ok Anyway i went to the sin seh at payar lebar as usual,

SHE cracked my foot, bend here and there, RUB SO hard that i bit onto my coach wristlet!!! squeezed the pillow, held her hand, screamed like crazy in the room... AHHH

i have to return on sat for the 2nd treatment, help!


i miss paul :(

Nitendo DSi launching on Nov 1, 2008 in JAPAN

Damn cool can, it has a 3mp CAMERA!
The screen is bigger by 17% and the set is slimmer.

The camera allows videochat via wireless between 2 DSi console.
There is also a SD card slot to store your SD card.

Just in time for the Christmas Sales!

Can I trade my pinky with one blacky?

Told paul that I would get it at the end of the year or after I work, he doesn't believe me and pinky is supposed to be my Christmas present.. oh well, new stuff pops by now and then.. it's part of the marketing tactic..

27 Sep 2008
I took my parents out to Toyogo Factory Outlet @ TPY
in search for a storage for the messy corner in my room =X

i found this, selling @ S$60

BUT it's ugly, it doesn't match the design of my room so I'm KIV-ing it and since this storage cannot fit into pa's car, pa will get in some other time w/o me.

and so I suggest we go to IKEA Alexandra BUT pa came up with excuses that there will be jam there since it is "near" F1.. it's not near lor.. THEN he said, "Let's go to the one in Tampines!" wor first time he recommend to go to such a ulu place lor.. so we headed to Tampines! They thought it's located at the central BUT it's NOT. Haha. .I had to ask around via sms for the address but guess what? There's a IKEA booklet in the car right in front of me. SO after driving for 15minutes, we found the place.
we were all hungry, so i suggested to have our dinner first @ the restaurant... it was their first time eating at ikea restaurant. i'm so excied to treat them to good food. BUT my ikea card is with GRACE CHEE!! there goes my discounted meal + 2 free drinks.. anyway...

GUESS WHAT IS THIS?

is


this



a


shopping



trolley?




hmm....


NO!

.
.
.
.
.
.
Ta-da

It's a Food trolley! So cute lor. It can take up to 3 trays

Anyway this is our dinner

6 Chicken Wings (YUM YUM!) + Proached Salmon + Meal of the day (Chicken Chop Rice - this is good!) + Chicken Leg Sth (SUCKS MAN, don't order this, only the mashed potatoe is edible) + my Cheese Cake (I love this!) + Coffee + Tea


After dinner, we window-shopped in Ikea but spotted nothing that fancy my eyes. So we headed across the road to GIANT!

CHINA MILK SCANDAL haha

I heart Jap Sweet Potato

I found the SAME Toyogo Drawer selling in Giant @ S$82.90 vs S$60 selling at Toyogo Factory Outlet. Got some food and we headed home...

In the new tunnel.. SLE..

PLEASE KEEP TO THE MAX Speed of 70KM/H

or prepare to get fine, there's speed camera everywhere and this tunnel is really ulu. NO CAR on a Sat night. zzz

29 Sep 2008 We went for a PICNIC!

Food!!

I made sandwich for Paul.
NICE? Colorful isn't it

PSP-ing

Oops! The sky turned dark.. and we left for Parkway ParadeSomething very exciting happened on our way to PP, but I shall not talk about it. I knew that I am like a little church mouse now. don't ask me why. Hope it would be a lesson learnt.

Yesterday after school, I dropped by MUJI + Carrefour to check out plastic storage. The toyogo storage is selling @ S$69 in Carrefour. BUT I'm still in love with this big drawer from MUJI which costs $33.00! I would have to get 3 of these drawers for the same storage volume as the ones from Toyogo. SO that would cost me S$99.00 vs S$60.00. These MUJI drawers are so classy and they will match the design of my room. And SO after asking THREE important persons in my life, I have decided to get these MUJI drawers.

don't u love them too?


HAPPY CHILDREN's DAY!