i feel rather depressed.. i fell down the other day in my own room, the next day daddy sent me to the sin seh but he had to use his $20 coupon as his is a weekend car. but i paid for the medical fee of $30. today we went back for the 2nd treatment, it was freaking pain, he poked needles on my ankle and i was holding on the pillow so tightly. today daddy sent me there again, sat so no need to use coupon but we waited till 3pm before leaving the house. i paid S$28.00 for the medical fee today. i have to return for the 3rd time on tues, so that will be another $30 gone BUT bcos it will be a tuesday, i have to travel to the clinic myself if not daddy will have to use another S$20 coupon which i think is not worth it.. how i wish someone can drive me there and take me home. there is no direct transport to the clinic or i have to take a cab.. it will be freaking expensive to take a cab there.. hai..

so i expect to spend S$100 for the medical fee.. it's such an expensive fall.. my parents have retired and surviving on their savings + some part time assignment to maintain daily expenses.. the market is very bad now, and i would be graduating next april.. hope that i will be able to secure a job and feed them...

i need to treat my hair, wanted to do it recently BUT bcos i fell down and had to spend moola on the treatment, i guess i would have to postpone the treatment to after exam. but the treatment cream has been siting in the corner of my room for almost 6 months.. brand new $60... zzzz i feel ugly recently.. have this phobia that he doesn't want me anymore bcos i'm getting ugly.. more mask for me... HELP.

i'm beginning to hate myself... waste so much money...