will a miracle happen?

i'm giving up. it's so difficult. pleasing him, seeing him in pain. seeing him stoning at home even after i got him lots of entertainment. feeling tired hourly. eating so little. so moody.

how long will this battle be?

if it is not ending, i will let him go without suffering. less pain, more happiness.

mum is getting old, seeing her doing chores the entire day - from cooking, to washing, to serving meals etc, i felt bad. if only i have enough money to employ a part time domestic worker. she would be happier. noticed her temper has improved. she becomes calmer and friendlier.

i'm tired. my wallet is tired too. i'm immune to just paying non-stop to keep them happy.

pain

i am very sad. seeing the nurses and doctors withdraw so much blood from dad for test. poking needles. i felt the pain. he must be in pain.

i dare not cry in front of them. i must look strong and be able to administer all these. also got to report to kor who is so worried in taiwan. updating him regularly via email.

it will be fine...