it's quite emotional for me the past few days.. spending most of my time taking care of the two babies, makes me feel so motherly and my entire life is surrounded with children n school. trying to adjust to waking at 7am every morning to prepare ewan for sch n sleeping at 12am at the latest. i used to wake up at around10+ before i left for usa, then 8+ 9 after.. n now 7am!! it is rather tiring and on top of that, i haf to settle my sch work, projects n prepare for the upcoming exam..

n missing lots of love from my dearest paul!!! he's been working hard during his course for the past 6 weeks n that makes him very tiring n he usually sleeps earlier than me.i try not to disturb him despite missing him lots.. =X

ok here comes a problem. for two days, when i sat down n stood up, despite my feet touched the ground, i cant feel anything. rather i feel that i m gonna fall down.. low on blood n sugar.. sad.. m quite afraid that i may faint in the middle of nowhere. so should i haf a message or card tat says pls call this number when i m found on the ground.

ok it's bedtime (11pm).. i better slp NOW if nt i may really faint tml.

Day 2

i did not slp last night bcos ewan kept waking up n tossing around the bed.. he even woke up at 3am crying for rwani.. so marygen had to carry him n pat him to slp. everyone woke up at 7am. showered ewan n the sch bus came at 7.45pm.

came up n showered and dressed evan, then i showered n drank milo n gong gong sent us to sch at 9am. it was too early so brought evan to the supermarket on the ground floor for a walk. he was so shy during lesson time n towards the end he cried looking for marygen.. told him tt we r gg home soon to look for marygen..

had lunch with evan, watched some youtube smurfs video with evan n ewan, then changed them n put them to slp. i was too tired due to the lack of slp the night before. i went to nap in the study room till 5.30pm.. woke up, fed the two babies, showered n ethan is home! gave the two babies milk n put them to slp

i haf a quiz tml n i m studying NOW.. halfway thru..

a simple life with the focus on the children.. for at least the next 20days.. i am 21 years old.. but i am learning how to take care n live with the babies.. till the end of the camp.. i will announce if i am up to for this simple life in the near future..

i miss paul.. pls come n visit me soon..

Day 1

a lazy afternoon with baby evan watching LOST..
he is happily looking at the photos we took at T3 yesterday (will blog abt T3 soon)

nth much happening today.. lots of kisses n hugs from the two babies.. evan is 15kg, n he keeps rolling n sitting on me.. my bones are gonna break very soon..

Exams on 16, 19 n 26nov (3 papers) yuppie!

POST Exam Plans

1. Facial (Appt made on 29nov)
2. Hair Cut + Steaming (Hopefully either 27 or 28nov)
3. Birthday! (30nov)
4. "A Crazy X'mas" @ dc
5. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
6. JB to stock up dvds
7. To watch the many hundreds new dvds at home
8. pack room / wardrobe for new yr!
9. i wan to go BANGKOK!!!! i ned to buy sth..
10. bake a cake :)

Birthday Wish List

1. Harrods Bear pink bag as my laptop bag - from Geraldine (she said will think abt it) if nt i will get it by myself [i haf been thinking of getting a Harrods bag for hmm... 3yrs? oops!]
2. Buy mum a hp? her's cmi le (btw mum n i share the SAME birthdate!)
3. the awfully chocolate cake from taka

the greatest gift is being able to spend each day with the people u love n be loved by others.. sending a smile to everyone around me :)

the interview

some of the qns tt i was attacked with..

me: aunty, this is for u (grapes n apples)
aunty: next time buy more
me: ok! no problem

aunty: why r u so free today?
me: i jus came from class

aunty: wat courses are u taking?
me: no, i teach

IN THE CAR

aunty: why do u haf to teach?
me: for experience n i love children

aunty: r ur parents so poor?
i kept quiet but was furious! was thinking if ur aunty is going to be so mean for the rest of the day, then GOOD BYE! u can go find another girl who takes $ from the parents n haf all the fun in the world n jus study. my parents are NOT poor, i jus don wanna take $ from them bcos they r retired! let them use the $ for themselves.

aunty: wat do u teach?
me: music @ paragon
aunty: wat grade do u haf?
me: Yamaha Grade 5 teacher's level
aunty: why don u haf grade 8?
me: Yamaha Grade 5 is teacher's level. Yamaha grading is descending, from 13 to 1.
(in my mind i was thinking if i shld list down all my music grades tt i haf? i think pple only wan to hear a Grade 8)
aunty: why don u haf grade 8? (so she doesnt understand, it's ok. nvm. if u noe that there is only ONE person in sg that has a Yamaha Grade 3 cert n the difficulty of the Yamaha Grade 5 exam.. u will noe that the cert is v precious.. how the examiners screw us during the exam n their job was to make us FAIL!)
me: yes i do, a AMEB grade 8 (but i don think she heard it)

aunty: how's ur results in sch?
me: average
aunty: now u see, why when u do half of this n that. the paper is v impt
me: ok i will work harder
(i don ned a first class degree, firstly i hate what i am studying, i was force to take ECONS in the first place, jus get it over n done with so tt i can go teach, if MOE doesnt wan me, no problem, weelig will get me a job. he offered.)

aunty: haf u been on a holiday?
me (hello, i am not a poor girl! i have travelled since 3?): Yes, i jus came back from US
i was smart to say US cos she is gg to US soon.. wahaha she smiles
aunty: which part?
me: new york, canada
aunty: which part of canada
me: toronoto
aunty: why did u go there?
me: for holiday, with my uncle n grandma
aunty: u stayed in hotel or frend's place?
me: uncle's frend's place. bcos we were there for a month
aunty: ur uncle lives there? it is expensive to stay in hotel in us
me: no.
aunty: did u visit the niagra's fall?
me: yes
i think she smiles n paul nodded his head.

n after a session of harsh qn n comments.. we reached our destination for dinner..

was expecting her to shoot me more qns during dinner but she din. weird. after dinner, the conversation was lighter, asking me wat do i wanna work as after ntu. i said teaching! she sounds excited. asking pri or sec, n replied i'm still deciding. n jokingly she tells me she will nt influence my choice n go n suffer first bcos sec sch is more difficult.

i was digging for tissue in my bag.. after some serious digging, i found it n when i lift my head, she offered tissue n smile! but i showed her my tissue n smile! but still thk u. gave one to paul n used the last one for myself.

aunty: u cant finish ur noodles
me: yes, it's quite oily
aunty: yar, it's too dry

verdict: I think she did it on purpose to test me. but i survived n did not answer back! i smiled at everything she said or commented. it's not easy bcos she is a teacher n my mind was in standby mood to think of a good answer whenever she shoot me with qns. ok at least the most impt first round is over. i wanted to ask her lots of qns abt teaching but let's wait for the 2nd meeting n see her reaction b4 i ask any qn.

**********

For fun.. this is what i haf:

Yamaha Performance Grade 5 (Electone)
Yamaha Fundamental Grade 5 (comprises of 8 parts: Sight Singing, Singing with accompaniment, Harmony, Transpose, Theory, Listening - write out wat was played, I failed the singing part.. hate singing!!)
Australia Music Examination Board (AMEB) Grade 8 (Electone) - 1 grade higher than the usual ABRSM most pple haf. n so YES i haf my GRADE 8 as well!!
ABRSM Theory - Grade 5
ABRSM Piano - Grade 5

oh yes, one day i will complete my piano n theory paper.. it's a matter of time n MONEY! music classes and exam r not cheap.

Gwen, Kobe, Noel and Wai Jit (Left to Right)

They have completed the Music Station Program with me n teacher Winnie after 1 year. I was shocked to see Noel on the first day of class bcos he was a student @ Kinderland - Great World City where I spent 2 months helping out last May. Luckily he doesnt recognise me.. It's fun teaching Gwen, Kobe and Noel becos they learn quite fast. Wai Jit is slightly slower so i spent most of the time doing 1-1 session with him. I think I'm quite bad bcos i keep advising parents with children that are faster in learning to join Yamaha Music School bcos I am a Yamaha Student n I love the way I was brought up learning music there. Hope one day some parents will ask me to do private lessons with their child.. anyway i m waiting for dec to come so that i haf time to plan for music program to start at Lervina's School at Kid's Loft. n i can happily quit Kawai n do my own program n MORE income. yahoo!

Had dinner with paul's aunt for the FIRST TIME.. was quite prepared to be shoot by questions.. suffered a few injuries but i survived.. she smiled in the end.. hope i passed the first round.

One more day before I leave home to c's place for a 21days camp!

quite a bit to bring over.. mostly sch notes, books n my lappy n printer since she doesnt haf one. jus in case i ned to do some serious printing, scanning etc.

time to start packing..

wed: slept @ 4am, woke @ 9am. i think i don trust any1 so i took the task to finish up the ppt slides to prefect it. ppt at 2.30pm since the 1st 2 groups wasted soo much time. We ended @ 3pm sharp due to the gd planning. heard pple pointg at my slides cos the images fly here n there n were the most complicated as compared to the other slacker groups. i love ppt slides! hafing fun playing with it. anyway i was quite dead after school due to lack of slp. c went to my house @ night to talk to my parents regarding the problems i m hafing recently. but c told me tt jus say a few words everyday when i return home n acknowledge them. the rest of the stuff, don bother. typical teochew family i haf n on top of that i m the ONLY child... she gave me some medicine, i got a high n went to slp

thur: woke @ 10m, watched LOST (1-4).. n took a 1.5hr journey to sch for tt 1hr development econs tutorial. i was KO on the train by the time i left sch n had to ask paul to call to wake me up. i don wanna end up at bedok station again n take a train back. went to Robinson to buy baby's milk bottle nipples n grab some food from M&S, as usual My Hand Baked Black Pepper Potato Chips is out of stock. then walk over c's hse for tution. packed dinner since there's no food for me n EVERYONE sat in the kitchen to watch me eat.
*Everyone is defined as Ethan, Ewan, Evan, Marygen (maid) and Wani (Maid)

Ewan ate my long beans n potato. The 3 boys were fighting to study with me. When i asked who wanna study first, everyone puts up his hand (including baby evan). evan said, "me n u ( referring to ewan)" isnt he lovely..

n so after i gobble up my food, i taught ewan then ethan. had a fun time with ewan today cos i started teaching him phonics - "A". ewan wanted more study time but i ned to handle ethan to prepare him for his exam.. evan saw me n wanted to study too.. so in the end both ewan n evan CRIED... n said, " i wan to sta-dy!!" ewan came n hugged me, refused to let me go.. but i got away of course. =X

it's quite interesting tt ethan kept saying tt he doesnt wanna do work n when i told him tt he can jolly well leave the room n go slp or play, he refused.. in the end, he did wat he is supposed to do of course. he wanted to punch me but he dared not.. his hand was only 2cm away from my face.

fri 26oct: CS816 lt/ quiz 3.30-5pm then project meeting (TBC) n nie band (assessment) 7.30pm. the only problem is i hope i haf a transport home or else i will be left stranded on tt ulu part of sg.

sat: kawai 10-12pm and 1.30-2.30pm, walk over to c's house - shower, rest, eat then tution 3.30pm till donno wat time

sun: rest, do work, pack stuff for moving in on mon

Mon 29/10/07, moving into Meng Garden (Somerset) for 21 days

i wan to b a baby.. n i wouldn't be so unhappy

y did i dream of u last night?

next mon i will b moving in to caroline's place for 3 weeks since wani (her maid) is going back to indonesia for holiday n so i m gonna help her baby sit the 3 babies at home.. ethan was soo panic this morning when he saw me, the first thing he said was, "u r staying here for 21 days?" n carol told me that ethan is afraid of me staying over ... cos he thought that i will b facing n teaching him every day! hee.. ethan asked lots of questions today:

ethan: where r u sleeping?
me: next door (referring to ewan and evan room)
ethan: y next door? (he refers to his grandfather's house which is next door) no ned, u can slp here (study room - with a bed)
me: no, i mean ewan's room, u wanna join us?
ethan: u can slp here. i will punch u every morning to wake u up!
me: i will tickle u every morning

ethan: will u b home later?
me: y?
ethan: cos aunty wani is not around already
me: oh.. she went to cut her hair (actually is rebond her hair, gd life isnt it?)
ethan: i will stay over from next mon

ethan: where is ur luggage?
me: over here (in the spare room near the kitchen), the brown one
he convinced that i will b staying for 21 days.

ethan: do u have a boyfriend? (with a cheeky smile)
me: er... why?
ethan: u haf right? i noe. (cheeky smile again)
me: u like him?
ethan: yes, he played shooting game with me
me: ok, i will ask him to teach u to play soccer after ur exam?
ethan: soccer? it's so lamn.. just kicking a ball around
me: ok, how about shooting game using paint as bullets?
ethan: real bullets?
me: no.. paints as bullets
ethan: real guns?
me: er.. no, real bullets and guns not allowed in sg except by policeman
ethan: i wan real bullets and guns
me: no allowed, it's dangerous n u will be jailed
ethan: ok, shooting game using paints

so.. i will be "locked up" in carol's house for 3 weeks other than school days n sat to paragon to teach at kawai.

i will b at somerset, killiney road..
n so the + point is, it will take shorter time to go to sch (1hr from 1.5hr)
i can walk over to paragon to teach (10-15mins)
ntuc is just downstairs
lots of food downstairs too
i will haf to move my notes n books n lappy over since it's during exam period..
anyway my study table is ready n brought some clothes over already.

till then, i will update on my camp @ lloyed rd, meng garden! ")

my dream: chanel 2.55 (re-released)
a beauty isnt it?

sis n i

Dinner includes me, jie, kor n my parents

we had soo much.. total bill $138 (nice number huh?)

[ i was bored ]

3.20pm: met my prof n collect the form for my bursary.
4pm: went to cs lab n prepare to study for quiz (@5pm), check my mail only to realised that the quiz was postphoned till next wk... zzzz... which means that i will haf to rot till 7.30pm for nie rehearsal.. 3HOURS!! of course i wont rot in sch man, msged every possible person i could to entertain me but no 1 was around in school.. pestered grace / zy to skip sch (sim) to do dinner but dear grace refused. n so i happily left sch to make a trip to imm by myself..

the shutter bus took forever to come.. i waited for almost 1hr.. was super hungry by the time i hopped onto the bus.

5.45pm: IMM
headed straight for dinner @ Wan Chai Hong Kong Tea House (Level 3, opp Daiso)

Yuan Yang

Baked Pork Chop Rice + Soup

(Simply delicious! aunty beside asked me if it's nice. she ordered the same ting)

Walnut Cream

I love this!! Yummy!! Good for the skin. =)

after dinner, i went daiso for a walk bcos i was simply too full!! then head straight to giant to help carol buy the ginger sweets for her maid to bring home. I took all the 5 packets on the shelf.

8.20pm: Reached NIE band room (I was late but luckily prof ho was late too hee.. he met with an accident)
11.50pm: Junfong sent me home but throughout the whole journey we din speak.. Only at the end, i said "Thank you. Bye bye. Good Night" He replied, "Ok good night". He drove sooo fast.. zzz rushing to send me home then do supper with the rest of the pple at Thomson. Anyway, all thks to him.. it's quite strange tt we don talk even we knew each other for at least 5 yrs..

ok.. time to slp.. tml kawai in the early morning.. zzzz

i DO NOT like being an only child!!!!!!

every single question i will haf to answer.. i get all the attention which i hate it. jus leave me alone.. simple things like reading a letter, y cant they jus read it.. i hate the way they talk to me.. i don like the tone they talk to me.. cant u see why i hate staying at home whenever they r at home.. from asking/telling kor something themselves, they would ask me to ask him.. y cant they do it themselves! y mus i be the messenger.. i hate the way he acts dominating.. it's so fake.. leave me alone cant they? the room is soo small, why cant they talk nicely? ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!! take me away from this place quick.. leave me alone!!!

don force me.. this is NOT the first time.. i can just disappear..

Hope Kino and ABC stationary don't bring in this from Japan. I shall order this from Japan (www.sun-star-st.jp) or wait for ger to go japan to get this. N my 2008 schedule book will b exclusive in Singapore once again. :)

2006 - Moonmin Valley. I bought from Tokyo Hands, Japan2007 - Pooh and Friends. Ger bought from disney store, Japan.

a smurf flip phone!

the latest toy from my greatest smurf sponser - mr paul puan!!

lady: r u buying for urself?
paul: nope, for sabrina
lady: oh, she has everything already.
paul: nope, she doesnt
lady: yes, she has everything, i always call her whenever there's new shipment

but the winner is paul, cos he knows wat i haf n nt the aunty. it's true that i haf ALL the 3" smurfs in her shop but not ALL these super smurfs playset in boxes. anyway these super smurfs are from the old company, so better buy them before the totally disappear. n the price will appreciate every year. aunty is very nice, she always call me whenever there's new shipment and gives me the yearly smurf stickers. i'm a big supporter from her shop, always buy everything that is new there. hee.. (maybe a bigger smurf fan instead)

"hello hello, thks dear for the phone"

dinner @ Pasta de Waraku (Marina Sq)starter: salads.. i had 2 bowls! (cos paul doesnt like)me: clams soup pasta (on diet mah)

paul: spicy creamy prawn pasta

creamy crab croquette (yummy!) 2 idiots standing near mac taking photos

bcos i was freezing in MS so while i'm warming up, we played with the phone. after millions of photos.. i haf eye bags!! help!! soo ugly.. i ned my yvonne to save my face.. shall wait till after exam to pay her a visit n then visit esther to do my hair.. i'm 49 kg now, wahaha! a total lost of 5kg since i return from US.. aim to lose 3 more kg... aza! :)

wat a piece of music.. with the whole page playing the same notes using 4 sticks.. but it's gd for tonning my arms as there's accented notes within..

wat is the result of seeing ur bf once a wk?


u will not recognise him or find that he is a different person.
(this will happen to me very soon..) haha!

amk central S11 's Jap Food

Curry Katsu Chicken Don

Shrimp Udon

it's a luxury to eat this bcos i'm on a strict diet at the moment, but since it was a special day, i decided to eat it. paul said it has been a long time since he saw me eating soo fast. i mus b either v hungry or it's simply delicious. :) I ate the curry katsu chicken don, i like the curry, the sweetness is jus right.

after dinner, despite his busy schedule n a test to study for, he surprised me with a movie ticket for Lust, Caution knowing that i wanted to watch it. i like the setting n the storyline. the actors were good. the acting was natural n the plots were good. it was quite a pity tt many parts were cut, which resulted in certain change of scenes to b a little weird n did not flow smoothly.

***********

i haf since lost another 1kg! hurray! (total lost was 2.5kg) n this is wat happens..

BF: cereal + milo/milk
LUNCH: Porridge with veg/ 3 spoons of rice with Veg/ little meat / bread with ham n lettuces + apple + yakult
DINNER: 3 spoons of rice with lots of veg + little meat or soup

before BF and after DINNER, i will drink this super mangosteen juice. Find out more on this website: www.mangosteentools.comn if i am hungry after meals, usually i will munch an apple or kiwi. n i drink a bottle of yakult a day.. trying to lose another 2 kg, to my normal weight when i was in pj.

aza!

[ sab's bookshop ]

all my pencils collection are bought from Japan..
others: the super rare SABRINA notepad bought from Germany (i only used 2 pieces soo far), m&m sticker bought from New York, mickey pen from roy from HK, purple mickey pencil from alvin from HK, a few note pads bought in Sg except the music n snoopy ones were bought from Japan.

i love colourful stuff, esp cartoons - pooh, snoopy, care bears n SMURFS! (to date i only haf smurfs stickers - a gift from yamuna!) i don bear to use the pencils.. but there r some that i bought 2 so that i can use 1 but haf yet to use. oops!

my burberry ez-link card holder after jus 1mth.. the edges worn out.. :(

a visit to burberry @ dfs to ask if i can repair my card holder, they said no!

the leather used for the trimming of the sides of wallets, card holders are thinner hence resulted in wear n tear after a while. a check at the store, i found tt this card holder (in black) is selling for S$280 in sg. though i bought it in USA Burberry Store for only S$80, i m upset n disappointed the low quality of the product. i was told tt i can replace the entire trims at one shop in paragon n it will cost abt $50.. hai.. i will visit uncle sam at orchard plaza to get it done. he charges much less n has gd workmanship. hope he is able to save my card holder.

ger suggests tt i wrapped my burberry wif plastic wrapper.. err.... -_-" i told her y nt buy a clear plastic card holder to put my card holder, then my burberry is protected as well n i still get to use it. hee =X

i have always wanted a nice card holder to put my ez link card. (yar, there's nth inside except my ez link card) n yesterday on the bus, one pregnant lady knocked on me n my card holder dropped on the dirty floor in the bus! win already.. she jus stared at it n nv even say sorry. on the part that she is pregnant, her aunty look n her outfit, i forgive her for her ignorant tt it's a burberry card holder.

he said, ".. that is why nobody buy these. u rich mah.."
stubbornly i replied, " yar lor, i'm rich"

thks lor for telling me this.. it's quite true tt i haven seen any1 carrying a burberry card holder or wallet.. it's much more expensive than LV/Gucci.. i like the this pink print from burberry.. it's sweet n young. makes me happy whenever i tap my ezlink card. :)

*****

was hungry n craving for pasta at home in the afternoon... so i made my own meatball pasta n cream soup with bread.. i have since cut down on the amount of food i eat n trying to eat healthier n lighter food..

aza! [ i ned to lose 3 mre kgs. ]

"u did what u wanted to, what u felt like doing.. i really respected that abt u.. now i'm not so sure any more..."

-my heart is painful, really hurts, when this came from my best friend..

what are dreams that formed when you are asleep?

i often dream when asleep.. sweet n bitter.. but more often nightmares that make me cry in the dreams n wake up with tears.. or nightmares that i will scream n wake up from the scare.. i had a nightmare last night.. it was a terrible one.. i fainted in the dream n woke up with chest pains.. i was perspiring n couldn't breathe properly.. it feels so real.. i can see the faces of the people and hear the voices of the people in the dream.. i hope it's jus a nightmare, nv shld it be real.. i can't take the truth if it's real..

*******

i guess i m one who cant share certain things with other people, one of which will b my partner..
i cant bear the thought of him in love with someone else, be it guy or girl when we r together.. if ever he did, pls don let me find out.. b smart n do a clean job n destroy all evidences.. once i find out, i will jus say gd bye.. nvm hw much i used to love him, nvm hw much memories we used to have, nvm hw much time n $ spent together.. it will all b destroyed after the incident.. n so i had a terrible dream of seeing him with another girl, hands clasped, hugging etc.. i had chest pain n fainted in the dream when i saw them.. he tried to help me but i pushed him away n refused his help.. n i woke up with a chest pain.. m i thinking too much? i hope i m...... he's been nice so far, everything is well.. for the long journey ahead, we r working hard.. aza!