it was a little dream of mine to teach young children and watch them grow under me.. having really high expectation, i put it my best in whatever i enjoy doing.. i ensure that my students understand the concept fully and master the content before i proceed to introducing new ideas.. i may not be the best teacher but i did my best to impart knowledge to these little kids.. i smile when they understand what i taught.. i laughed when they tell me something i taught them before.. i giggled when i failed to trick them with the wrong answers so that they would tell me the correct ones.. 2008 Nov, I sent my first two students for their First Theory Examinations.. one of them is a retired adult, in his fifties.. the other is my fav little girl.. i put in my best to prepare them for the exam.. they did 4 sets of yearly-paper that adds up to 16 sets of examination paper.. and one mock exam right before the examination.. i knew they will do well.. i knew that they will score distinction.. i couldn't see myself from failing in something that i am so confident in.. i only wanted the best..she scored 100 marks... the only girl that scored 100 marks in that pathetic little school hidden along balestier road.. he scored 95 marks which i think was great, for someone who made a lot of mistakes during class, for a retiree to learn some alien stuff from a teacher who took over his lesson barely 4 months and retaught him whatever he had learnt from his previous teacher..
i knew i did well for the first time sending my students for examination.. i knew i can do it best.. i knew i have high expectation..
i missed the stage, i missed performing, i missed playing with them.. i may not be the best player among the group, but i know that i can be part of the better percussion ensemble in Singapore.. but i chose to leave this group.. don't ask me why.. i don't wanna regret.. because u said so, i left.. [July 2007]
[Oct 2008] the plan was proposed, as i look forward to conducting group lessons.. for the teens.. it was not discussed till late Nov 2008 bcos the holiday lesson failed. not a single person signed up, i asked weekly for the number of confirmed student, no reply.. i asked every week since Oct 2008.. no one signed up.. bcos they did not advertise.. Late Nov 2008, a second plan was proposed.. a fun and music appreciation class for the little ones.. i am willing to give up my Sat morning to teach a class of 4-5 interested toddlers with the best lesson plan that i can come up with.. details were finalised after 1 week.. i said 10am-1045am.. but he told the parents 9.30am-10.15am, nvm i tell myself i will wake up early for these lovely kids.. 10 lessons per term, but it turned out to be 11 lessons, i was disappointed.. nvm i tell myself, as long as i have the chance to teach.. 1 hour he wanted, but i insisted and fought for 45 minutes.. he agreed in the end.. 4 students i hope but it turned out to be 2.. i am disappointed.. what am i supposed to do?.. i checked on the application every week since late Nov 2008.. every single week i asked similar question.."any one signed up for the class?" i got the same reply every week, "No".. late Dec 2008, we got ONE confirmation. i am excited.. but reminded him that we need 4 to start a class.. early Jan we got another new student.. i told him we need 4 but if worst scenario, we can do it with 3.. and we are to start the lesson only when there are 3..
[16 Jan 2009] i got a text telling me that we've got 3 students.. one of them is a 5 yr old kid.. oh.. so we have a 5 yr old kid now.. wow.. is that a joke? did we mention anything about 5 yr old? 17 jan 2009 9.30am, i am supposed to conduct the class.. now at 12.27am, 17 jan 2009, not a single piece of material is printed out for the class tml..
welcome to the real world, u said..
i lost a dear friend, till now he is unwilling to talk to me. not even when i wished him Happy Birthday. He told me I am no longer who I used to be, the girl who fight for her dreams..
u said i need to see a doctor, bcos i need to open up.
perhaps...
bcos i am no longer me
what kor always tell me is really true, "shit does happens"